my first word was train

What was your first word? Was it a self fulfilling prophecy in any way?
My first word was train.
I was born in Brooklyn nad lived in nYC until I was 7.
Writing a memoir at the age of 36 may sound fatalistic, but to me it is necessary. I have a few things to say. I do not want to blog for fear of repercussions if I am ever seeking employment.This will be less for catharsis than out of necessity. Whether anyone relates depends upon if anyone sees this. this is my first blog by the way. My friends may laugh at me, and yes out loud. I am famous for my wretched typing and flurried emails. F # this misspelled run on sentence of course I have Elements of Style. Leave me ALONE.
Growing up with the knowledge that writing is my heredity, though not a real pedigree. I always enjoyed keeping a journal. Now that I was financed to purchase a computer I feel I hope to break thorugh the writers block I exist perpetually in. I am always coming across a trend that I thought of years prior and living the life of someone who just missed the train. Train was my first word…
I stopped keeping a journal after burning out on taking my emotional temperature, being who I am the thermometer was too hectic I could not keep up. laziness and a lump in my wrist that is aggravated by using a pen or manual keyboard any further than the 9 hours I day I average at work.

Part of my story will be about work experience and is not posted as a cv format. Not part of disguised version of my network marketing soap box with subsequent links to products, Simply I believe I have continually been in a position to observe and keep quiet in the most dysfunctional ways at work.

My current position I have been at for for 15 months is a non executive job, title? ‘assembler‘. TIt has a nice FACTORY ring to it. Seriously, I am so grateful for it and to have benefits. Three people in 7 days being walked out of the office for mysterious reasons? Please let us all know what NOT to do. For today I remain employed and relieved to have a laptop. A friend of mine emailed me and said “ Welcome to the nineties.” I no longer need to wish I had a mirror on the cubicle to see who’s coming before EAP sends me to flickr rehab. I can play at home.

Why is it the low level associates at any organization providing the customer service are told the management wants to hear ideas and when you present one you are headed for the slaughterhouse? HR has changed incredibly and is now a software that you must manipulate correctly in order to remain on the feeding tube. The six sigma philosophy is now a buzz word. When process improvement is suggested implementation becomes a budget matter. Or a dmeand for a research analyst position for 60k prior. Well how can any company increase the bottom line without investing in it’s technology. I used to love this website where you could anonymously post your experience working for said company. I first found it when I was in outside sales with WorldCom. I saw the writing on the wall. I was fortunate enough to be recruited to two different telcom startups when I was in sales. I actually made enough money to survice with out night terrors. That was the only time in my life I was ever financially comfortable. I was entry level non mgt and have been perplexed how to make 40k ever since. Is it my lack of a college degree? Is it my ADD? Or some other fad diagnosis I stumbled over in my twenties to blame? How to explain the industry I once loved went to the septic of its Bernie Ebbers and the others never made it to their IPO for every job change? I was devastated and resolved to start over at a health insurer in the call center. Having been an ‘Implementation Project Manager’ I would only have to do this for one year…And at minimal pay. Then the sky is the limit here…OK I was hungry. I agreed and was happy about it. Never knowing what I was in for. A year later the rumor of the site closing rampant I inquired and was told it was not true. In a panic I departed and two weeks later it was closed what to do. What I recollect of the stories that I heard I can imagine Anderson Cooper outraged. Why do people end up suffering the consequences of multi-layered buyouts and re-orgs? Nevermind that the smart ones have documented their years worth of phone calls and the moment they felt someone might be listening or actually placing an outbound call to them , the call center was outsourced to India. To care about what you hear and impart that to the caller is very desirable to the company. To remember any of it after 6 pm was to lose your mind.
I at one point I even managed a retail store for equivalent money that was a great concept con but blew thorugh their start up money by opening up too many stores acrross the country faster than 7 Elevens. Forgot the brief stint at Tiffany and Co in their call center that was nauseating. Working with Dupont offspring that took limo’s to a 12 bucks an hr job. I would walk in Central Park for lunch break and become depressed not that I could not shop at Bergdorf’s but because I missed my sister back in NH.
The position I had prior to my current is the one I have the most to say about and I am now anti-comglomerat banks or financial institutions. I supported HR adn payroll for the institution that is now the proud owner of Merril Lynch. After the depression there were interstate regulations that prevented funds from leaving their deposit location, essentially it protected the local bank. After working in a call center for three years at one of the best investment companies in the country can saw that society could not be further away from where we started with regulation.
I love my SANS headset ego deflating job today. Honestly I would sweep the flooor.

1 comment:

  1. Hello,

    I really like reading your blog. I love the attitude that you bring forward and the spunkiness in your tone. Please continue writing. I look forward to reading what you have to say. I particularly liked this post :-) Thanks for making me smile.