Survivor Guilt and Job Elimination

I am happy to have been sent home early in the massacre. I get to sit at Borders and have a chai and catch up on facebook, I mean wait for updates from similarly effected coworkers.
Having been on the service end of the phone calls during RIF's I have some understanding of business decisions and subsequent changes. But what I was not prepared for was to be one of two in my group staying. My coworker and I have become close in fact she trained me. I care about her like a family member. She having 9 years of servie to my 1.5 was not placed elsewhere, but I was. I was not asked, I was told where I was going. I grabbed the messengers hands and a tissue and said a heartfelt thank you. I am eternally blessed and grateful for the opportunity to remain employed. Wha t a horrid day in America the headlines are an echo of my song in every major newspaper I see online.
But I am committed to silence about my future, while we have to return tomorrow to shut down our area, I have to remain tight lipped. How awful. I have a clinical case of survivor guilt right now. I am unable to pick up the hpone to even call her, she invited me over for lunch. How much I was want to go and commiserate with her, instead I hide, at Borders happily with a chai and get this out on my blog. Wait is that considered blabbling? IS this anonymous? Noone reads my blog anyway. My friends tell me I worry about everyone else way too much. How callous.
On a positive note this company did not legally have to participate in the WARN period, my state is at will. OR provide two months of severance pay, then two weeks of pay for each yr served up to a year. Very generous as opposed to other banking and finance conglomerates that will remain nameless.