Livin the dream

so June 2nd ( well it is all a blur anyway) is my anniversaire of one day at a time....Dont get me wrong I am grateful and all about my spiritual growth, and helping others, carrying the message, not my message, just when I almost had 'forgotten where I came from' I came down with the most miserable sinus infection... the ghost of addiction the form of nasal POLYPS.



I actually spent last night with my FAVORITE KIDS see my flickr page for the wholesome me, and name dropped to a 12 year old.

Who else do you know Becca?

I being an HONEST sober woman with dignity, corrected and said USED to KNOW, as in not on my face SPY book, or tweet page blog text IM or blackberry....

But Lets say this my friends have published more bboks than I have read in the last few years, and I well stay up late at night, trying to re-engage a mind that not only is diagnostically Sick AND worng BUT UNFOCUSED, SO i JUST SURF OTHER BLOGS AND OTHER ACTUAL PHOTOGRPAHERS PAGES IN FLICKR and forget that my ego once served a purpose.
Ego deflation is one of the results of properly working the 12 steps as is humility. It says nothing baout forgetting the people you knew, or best friend dated, or best friend's father was ____- etc....And just as I had nearly forgotten about these folks in the ghost of I wiss I had a trust fund past, I got to tell the kds ALL OVER AGAIN.
Least important to them was the 90210 actor who I kissed in high school and , seeing its John Cheevers borthday today he is gay now. I acted in Howard Stern biographical as an extra oh yeah hired for LAw n Order but binged through it.Just like my education

Next in ranking was my roommates Dad was Larry Brown a famous NCAA Basketball coach, in between years some meorable convicts and sociapaths, UMA , and then Bill, who after I got sober could not stand the sight of me, seems my presence interfered with his writing, I questioned his AA bashing in the New York Post I was obviously a Calvanistic follower. Talentless bipolar wack job well I did wish I could drink still but truly wished him success at the time my best friend and her friends and their friends supported his couch surfing ass bc he had potential. YUP potential.
You're smirking inside right? YOU KNOW this guy.... I had this guy for a boyfriend in numerous forms.
But you're wrong
He got a fucking ACADEMY AWARD yeah for some no name movie... the Departed. UGH I cannot even write a POSTCARD, or get a half assed one to the mailbox.

It's BEST I live in NH tend my gardens and post a little blog about my dog and my garden, my boyfriend ( see older posts and the use of the C word) and the authentic joy I have in my heart today. I am not being sarcastic this is truly a miraclew. I literally left NY to be a real, PRESENT aunt, to learn to love authentically, and well guess I am still 'GROWING'

see older posts re: the sick prick GOD is. Always the irony with that one....
My niece and nephew are now living in NY.....
the man I loved proposed I accepted to discover he was married to someone else and now I am OLD

Got sober, found my mother homeless in nYC loved her, relapsed, and she died promptly after I got my shit together
Appreciated my music and my instrument was less insecure about it sober, to misplace it. Then one spring I am planting lettuce and find it in the rototill clippings, yup German Shepherd HOG WOG buried it there. Guess she HATED the sound..

My boyfriend got me a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas, It was a TOTAL SURPRISE I mean , ON DEMAND nervous breakdown youre never getting sex again tantrum way, he is the best man I have ever known and I wanted this because Iam going to be 40 in 2 years,and if you think I am EVEN going to your friends for dinner etc so BITCH BOY gets the ring on me and reveals his sudden (to me) conservative views during presidential election. Back to threatening to withhold sex, Hannity is NOT allowed in the bedroom.

I do love him he is here now watching LIFETIME I shit you not. A LMN movie.

Yes it is best for ALL that I live in NH and go to meetings and fucking KNIT.

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