WAY in the MONEY

What has been going on since my last down trodden post?
I had NO choice ( jk)i t was either continue to fester in anxiety or do something about it. What is a sober broke girl hiding from REPO man to do? Wait tables and never see my favorite kids?
No get the H1N1 virus nearly? YES!!!!!!!! Beg my wireless carrier to wait 2 weeks till my next check? yes and literally try my hand at Texas Hold EM with my 60 bucks.....
SICK home went to work barely there sat home on couch and read read and watched my recorded WSOP and High stakes games... Dana my SO happens to play well and I got a teeny little bit resentful last time I felt quite UNwelcome in the poker room at Foxwoods. Like a child interrupting a parent in a BAR.... like ..................hmmm... my childhood.
You know how I abhor sexism..... well I was getting it from bitch boy and BOB.I stayed home to recoop for two weeks and they basically were heartbroken. See my pics throughout and at flickr so you know why they have my heart....
Anyway How Can I tell them it's because their dad keeps trying to literally get his hand in my PANTS.??? he put his hand in my AREA one night massaging my feet ( my sponsee is a massage therapist he does reiki etc) TALK # 1 ensued...
below is an email where I tried terribly to explain to someone who knows none of the cast of characters but was interested in my NEWS....
After becoming so gdamned fed UP with the men in my life and the belitting bullshit over MONEY and being basically laughed at when I suggested I give the cards a try tight?

SO two wekks of me ILL and determined to not get them sick stopping over and also play poker...Bob my friend the single parent working 2 jobs also was ill and his girlfriend decided to be on the scene so I stayed away. It was the longest I had not seen them ever and I was miserable over it. BUT I had to pull away bc he has gotten so OUT of CONTROL with the touching ( ME), and it is rotten. SLAA needs to do an intervention on him... joke

She has a needle stuck in her arm permanently that abscesses so badly she
was mediVACCEd to a hospital she is in a pt with a jailbird and
another kid she cannot care for.

She helped me to get sober 15 yrs ago ( attempt so I will never ever give up on
her. BUT she pulled crap when I had my own family stuff happenin and I
had to stop carting her around and dealing with her lies. So I at that
time a tr or so ago said after she thanked me for being there for them,
that I would be, but I am not enabling her by spending my sat driving
to get her and having her say she is clean and then stumbling down
stairs in front of them. At games at our sober functions etc No more

Dana is also friends with Bob. I am 100% honest with Dana. Last week Bob
( he is older now he is actually 53 w three kids alone) had to go to
hospital and had that not happened we were about to have a very
uncomfortable sit down.

The three of us spent a recent fri pm after a mtg pm's together the kids wen to bed we had
pizza and chilled and when we went to leave he snuck his footsies gig in and
tickled my foot I could around the coffee table!. I swear he acts like
his 7 yr old.

His gfriend is on off and treats him like crap so Dana and I and Bob all
joke how great it would be for everyone if I just lived there and the
three ( 4 at time if Bob's gfriend likes him that week) stopped paying
for 4 separate households on limited income. I have my Dad he has the
kids and Dana has a beautiful daughter who is an amazing mother and hairdresser, a good mom but makes some 'poorchoices'. ( as in a breast augmentation prior to paying for summer camp for her 5 yr old kid and forgetting every sat to find a babysitter) I think she needs to stay in his house for ahile and get rid of her insecure boyfriend. Two Adult Children of Alcoholics that actually call the cops on one another not due to liquor or drugs ..nope "HE locked ME out of my room and has our baby so I will not leave and he can read through my cell phone"


I actually do not live in a trailer... (yet)

so where does your boyfriend fit into this picture? doesn't he care
about you being at this dude's house so much and he is hitting on you?
or does he not know? I hate it for poor kids stuck in bad situations.
you might be their only good influence.. that's sad. And where is the

Beats cleaning at night

And babysitting for my friend who continues to lets say PUSH limits and
boundaries I have established. Naturally he would love me to move right
in I am the perfect maid and nanny and sooooo NATURALLY I love the 3 kids as if
they were my own. However I was helping out for the last say 10 months
out of love for them. I have known their mom and dad for 20 years and
their mom is well unable to to do anything but trauma them. Years of
horrid horrid struggle with a certain opiate, tourette's severely, just
to name a few. Their DAD continues to pull little annoying
things and s e x ualize my presence like an IMP a teenager boy like let
me see you bra type of crap. It is so not funny so I left. I said you
know what I am here for THEM and I said if you do not cut it out I will
not be , and naturally they thought I abandoned them. I went by and said
look your dad is basically irritating me and Dana is furious and I will
never leave you but he just needs to chill on the whole JOKING around
stuff because it is so not ok. And for now I am just stepping back.
They actually cleaned their rooms and the dishes were done and somehow
getting to practices at night. Mind you their Dad is a very good man and when not being fresh a best friend.
I am not playing HOUSE to be having my boobs touched and him saying he is so in loooove with me, staying staaaaaay over and all that. He really like all of us just wants to be happy. NOW I AM MAD because it was liek he told these kids I LEFT not coming around and noone knew WHY,. 1) I had death flu 2) his partner was nursing him and 3) just digs it when he
gets home at like 10 30 and all the crap is done. I said by the way I
happen to do this out of love for them and I was never the girl growin
up that dreamt of marriage and being a homemaker. Hear me and hear me
good NOONE likes housework. Got it? ;-)

Point??? I am not freakin giving my life up ( drama is NO SACRIFICE I am HAPPIEST when I am with these 3 kids) to be harassed. For 20 bucks
here n there. I will go there instead of 3 nights a week and half my
weekend like once a week now and that is that.

When his gfriend blows him off he just is all wouldn't it be great IF
.. andi said NO IF we would have all the same arguments that we have
currently with out respective partners. And frankly I am thinking living
alone forever might not be so bad ;-()

hey hundreds of dollars for 3.5 hours of work isn't bad...


I took 3.5 hours

I won another 50 in a small one of 9 ppl to see how that went and you
know it was still 2 hours, and turbo.

I went and tried a 5 dime tbl and LOST like 30 Dollars they went fast
and I was ill prepared so For now I am all cheap slow and steady wins
the race only lol

r 01, 2009 10:13 AM
To: Holske, Rebecca
Subject: RE: First ??

that's fantastic.. way to go girl.. sounds like you need to slap that
boyfriend.. I'm glad you won that much money. Maybe you should play a
hand for me.. :) How long did this game go on?


Did the story come through?


Subject: RE:


Well the worst part first Sunday Night I was in a game right I paid 6
dollars which is literally ALL I had right and I had a headache all day
which is unusual so I was mellow at 8 pm just in a blanket on my couch
and hanging there I got to 12th place out of 1311 ppl and stayed there
.. prickusMAXIMUS comes over and starts in on me yelling etc he is just
a CRANK sometimBoldes it can be anything and I got all distracted and lost
nocash and worse resentful at that little hypocritical bitch.

Well I was thinking about it and I thought well One more try Monday
night he is busy and will not be coming over for sure. I have been practicing here for about 6 months...
Somethings gotta GIVE

1700 people , ONE dollar, what the hey right? It is all good practice..
2 rebuys for 1 dollar so altogether I spent 3 bucks and at 1st I was
freaked, all the ppl were going all in???? I immediately think JERKS I
cannot even HANG with this...I suck I suck I suck

after all of the ehhckling he did I was more determined to try one last evenign alone NO distractions....

11.30 pm I came in 2nd

I am SERIOUS. I will now be able to pay my car insurance and buy food
next week.....

You know I am so all set with men and their put downs I called him up
and said hey you're never gonna win , never you're so stupid and sick
and ( basically ugly he syas to me)

Not to get too personal but he was being a JERK

And I cannot tell you HOW satisfied I am with myself.


:-)Naturally they do make lengthy to get a check, but I made literally
10 more than my whole take home pay in one pay period.

Dude???? BITE ME

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