my response to a cool blog I just found
I am so happy to hear that you are HAPPY and riskin IT!!! Vulnerabilty is not my strong suit. I googled sobriety and trich and found this. Im just massacred my face, and as far as I know so far, trich was not considered a self mutilating diagnostic category. Trich, is ocd, and cutters typically I thought might be bordeline or etc etc.... my point is that much like recovery the causes and conditions are all about healing and dealing. I have tried self hypnosis, and everything else under the sun. I am sober awhile (June of 96)and mid breaking of an imagined pustule;my mind, spoke to me, hey you where's my healthy 12 steppin surrenderer girl???Like when I used to dissociate years ago... I hear the healthy voice and still do it. A part of the brain lacks an off switch. I know for me that anything occupying my fingers is very helpful. Simply a distraction from engaging in this.. I have tried wearing gloves, the rubber band thing did nothing for me. Gardening is a great release for my compulsive energy too. Unfortunately it is a long cold winter. I hare when I do this to myself. But also skin picking is actually very very common in women. I was a freakin makeup artist, esthitician and chanel fragrance model for god's sake.... and there is no human power that can prevent me from doing this. The good news is one thing that WROKS for me is taking the lightbulbs out of the mirror. This results in no time a face that does not scream out MENTALLY ILL....
I know that EMDR helped me the most, and cognitive behavioral thereapy ... not so much. This for me is not triggered by a few circumstances it is simply how I process stress. The majority of my thoughts while doing this are processing things that I am angry about. My hair pulling is always worst in the winter and when I am worried about money. SO I have not had eyelashes for more than 5 months since I was 11 years old the eyebrow thing too.. all of it. But for some ODD reason on Feb on a cold late pm I have not had any urges to pull pluck whatever you call it... and have worn my mascara for weeks! When I get to do this it is better than a prozac the size of baseball let me tell ya! And I attribute this playing a certain game that involves VIRTUAL gardening.... AND since gardening is something I really love, i truly beilve it is helping me. My trich also has a cycle, it's so odd, once I feel this itch like a sty but not, i know it's starting. Onlyh twice in my life have I been able to leave the rest alone after half a lid disappearing... Fortunately my hp has allowed re-growth.
I know this is nothing I can share with many people, just my sponsor and a professional. NOt in therapy currently though...Hope I do not sound too narcissistic here about the Clinique jet black glossy.... I can cover up the damge to my epidermis like Bobbi Brown herself, so applying that wand to my lashes restores my true nature, my loving and happy self.... I hope this makes sense. I am not sure who exactly I am responding to here hopefully not exposing my innerds to NIghtline
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