SO I could not find my sister for about 10 straight days. I am finally working but bringing home 8 bucks an hour... I had driven with my last gas all over NH trying to find her..
How I googled my sister in JAIL...... this after finding her the week prior nearly frozen chasing satellites around with her cell phone camera,,,,
She had a felony charge of theft of a motor vehicle...she had run out of gas and stolen a rental in a car lot they left running...THIS is NOT my SISTER.
Immediately suspicious of opiate addiction I went fucking nuts myself. A friend helped and drove me where I spoke on the phone through the glass to her for about 3 seconds and I proceeded to search fro her car... all over a dirty little city...
Long story short, she is here with me in my tiny ass apt now. After about a week she woke me up at 2 am to inform me she had infiltrated a major terrorist group with her 3 rd eye chakra, and did a mine dance to show me how they communicate and guide her telepathically. This was fucking hilarious until she broke down and said it was all she could muster to not kill herself the way they want her to. I did not have to worry though becauser the FBI is putting her into witness protection in a few hours.....
W T F
So I am pissed.
Because now I cannot catch up on NUrse Jackie and fall back asleep because my tv is bugged.
I was not loving,
tolerant, patient I was fucking mad. After months of riding this wave with out resources to AID her in any way am just pissed. Seriously? Could you ahve fucking done this when I was on unemployment please b/c I HAD the time and more money, and I cannot feed you and buy your cigs every day and supply pschy meds. Now I am so fucked too b/c we have kids to feed if she is to put her life back together after I fucking get her committed ...But I have to work in the am GREAT.
I love my sister so much. I have driven to her kdis and fielded all of the obvious questions for months and we all asked ourselves is it scitzophrenia? Is she ever coming back and is she dead somewhere?
Luckily she has returned thanks to a wonderful ER nurse who played with me that we were exposing THEM... 11 days in a locked ward I knew she was going to be ok....
Same floor I was removed unpleasantly from my bipolarI existence as I knew it oh say approx 14 years ago.
So here were are, last weekend her two kids and a bird, her daughter's bf, my dog and my Dad who is very supportive. His machine says ,"this is not the # for Rebecca or Cynthia or George ____!!!! Chelsea had to be Euthanized.....Goodbye" She dared to Leave and stop sponging off of (ME)" That was how we woke up on Fri am...HOw dare HE when I pay these bills and do all of the maintenance here and supply my barely running vehicle for EACH and every aforementioned person???? FUCK YOU
I am stressed. Narcolepsy depression with psychosis hmmmm...REALLY people???? She is stll on a stimulant*&^!>? and has to be? Scares the shit out of me all day long here. Mind you they had her on 160 mg of adderal for 5 straight years and she was DRINKING and in a rotten relationship chasing money in the car business....No wonder...
I cannot feed us and get tow work but we made it through this week so far so good. I got home last night and she made a fritatta with orange peppers onions garlic cheese and candles in it for my sober anniversary, and she is not talking about this job anymore that yet another online friend is scamming her about.... She seizes on something and is all wound until it crashes or she does... Understandably, no one wants to accept later off of the they are ILL. I didn't want to. But I had toO ssri for me today either. I cried and did EMDR and did the gdamned 12 step work and fought my way back and maintained my own spiritual path. I have not run off with Jesus and I found mySELF> I like my life and I love the people in it. And am grateful they all reproduced. And not me.
Today it is pooring out and we are both relaxing with inet wifi that I have no idea how it is working. Bingeing on fb and catching up on my GAMES... My wrists are sore from yardwork and I am psyched to not be at rehab ( WORK) or in a mtg right now just home looking at nature with my sister who I truly believe has landed back on earth.