Drugs May Aid Only Severe Depression, Analysis Says - NYTimes.com

Drugs May Aid Only Severe Depression, Analysis Says - NYTimes.com


HUH... How can this be useful if the details of the trial are not provided? How can this represent moderate depression accurately when the root cause is not identified? Was the moderate depressive 'moderate' due to self medication? Or the emotional symptoms perhaps still partially repressed if ptsd related? What if it is situational? What if the brain actually would repsond to a different drug? As far as I know there are groups of ssri's and may effect people's brains differently. What if any experience had the people who took placebo's and the actual drug in understanding the relationship between thouhgts and emotions? Behaviors learned or genetically pre-disposed may account for this moderate 'moderate' depression and the depth of suffering may not have been fully realized by then? What if their environment might have contributed to this condition and who diagnosed this group with moderate depression? How can you measure and determine brain response to a drug if other coping skills are not being learned? If a person ingests an ssri can their perception of their level of happiness actually change if circumstances do not? What if they lack social connection, family, LOVE? What are people attached to REALLY?
Suffering!
Why are some people able to shine after horrific tragedies deep infinite pain and the knowledge that life is a gift every moment of it and to LOVE.... LOVE LOVE...
If one feels lonely when they have loving healthy children in their home and focus on the missing 'relationship'? The romantic love will make me happy....My happiness level  peaks when I feel connected to people that I love. Period.
I have so much to learn about  how to love. I do not want to be alone but I also see no reason to commit if you are not feeling that soulmate bond that inspired magical passion?
I question my capacity to ever form this belief, confidence that a marraige, a live in partner will complete me.
Happiness is fleeting but also a product of our committment to growth.
First ... here comes my AA upbrining ... Honesty with self ( and sponsor) Willingness ( to walk through the pain, heal and deal and pass it ON, and openmindedness ( higher pwoer/love whatever it is for you)
I admit, I was happier when I had enough money to adequately meet my responsibilities, when I liked my job more, when I was more in love, when I was prettier and when I felt more hope for the future, or at least saw that I could be successful in something.
I was more optimistic and a prozac the size of a baseball will not do that for me. Setraline, however, does control some of the symptoms that sucked the life out of me for years.
You try getting out the door with ocd and add.... it only wqorks if you forget what you wre obsessing about!
But no for me it is a compulsion, self destructive, to re-create trauma and maintain my FUCK UP  late for work chaotic state I guess I am still comfortable in. Another way of disociating but far better than years ago when I lost hours at a time.

I need PEOPLE, my dog, family, ( sobreity obviously) mental health, music,exercise, health food, exposure to places or things ideas that engage my mind, all my hobbies, and children and I do not care if I ever have my own!

THis is what I have learned about my happiness and antidepressants after spending a horrific adolescence and early adulthood self medicating.
I sought help after gettng sober, and after making some 'poor choices' and then absolving myslef of responsibility because I gave ( or hid behind)  my power  in  these little letters, all of them, my identity became them and my self worth 'developmentally delayed'

Most of the time I see the humor in all of this...
Articles like this, the drug companies, studies, lobbyists, and our failed mental health system, and my unaccomplished but  moderately happy sober life, frustrating relationship, and my gratitude for all of it.
Thursday 1/07/10
Please do not comment to advertise or promote anything on here. I cannot see your profile and cannot access your link. Rehab was not my topic nor the nyt article I was talkignabout happiness and ssri's and long after detox/recovery, like at least 12 - 24 months of time and the brain thereafter.

Improve Our Conscious Contact: Learning to walk a Spiritual Path

Improve Our Conscious Contact: Learning to walk a Spiritual Path

I just read this! This is what I was talking about!

Today I was still beaming with happiness from being with people that I love last night. And that LOVE IS ( or ISN'T) like god in the big book. AND I was trying to find words for my own committment to spiritual growth acknowleding that I need help from my higher power to be more convincing of the EMOTIONS and THOUGHTS I have throughout the day for others in my actions.

Happy Chronic Dependence day

Fourth of July was spent doing yardwork in the most frustrating manner until I gave up and went to do my laundry. I drag out the weedwacker lawnmower in what appears to be open skies. Get started and dark thunderous clouds swoop in and hover, so put everything away. Heavy pain in the ass dragging shit back under barn. As soon as all is under cover skies open up so I decide to try again, including garbage pails where I attempt ot organize more recycling materials, drag pieces of rotted ceiling and molded sheetrock out and into, and upon making a workspace out by the car? Drak thunderous clous and a down pour, the kids you cannot SEE in. DRAG ALL WET ABOVE ITEMS BACK UNDER BARN. you GUESSED IT. New England ...... A freakin perfect beach dat ten minutes later. By the time Sat night came tere was no wat in hell I was going to endure that crap with a mile of parked cars and puking kids, loud teens, stepping on blankets to watch medicore firewowks and get rained on for the 6th time. I also decided Independence Day is the best day EVER to dump your boyfriend. Just sit home, ALONE, and continue cleaning out inside, and the clarity will come....
Just the usual confusion from me... I live alone and he lives alone, he has his own business but can never even float me ten bucks without itemization. He, goes to casino on occassion, and is a decent Hold eM PLAYER. All Acceptable. Even fun at times. However. Never helping me with anything or wait saying you got my prescription for me last month, does not cut it. I HAVE INSURANCE, yup 40 altogether that time only because I had antibiotics.

I am about to lose my car. Have entertained notion of calling all friends, ot better yet... What is a freind quiz on f^&*book and see who donates.... Who's my FRIEND now?
This is usually when I go on my rant about why I should have NEVER left NYC.
EVER Fuck this stupid molded drenched drowning garden. I can't LIVE OFF THE LAND!
There is nothing but poor redneck men here and no public transportation. Women reproduce at puberty and ride welfare further widening the gap between the hanves and have nots, and middle class , no I'm low income now, takes it ____. At leats in the citty there are programs and even Massachusetts has far better programs for people like MASS REhab etc , sober? SOmewhere high up on the DSM III and treating it? Half a brain still? Managed to escape lobotomy form whenceforth you came? Want ot get educated? Go for it! No not in NH ....just get knocked up if you want help. You aborting practical women suffer alone.


Happy Chronic DEPENDENCE day in a backwards state.



Happier note: The next day I reluctantly went to a friends with Dana and got a sense of gratitude with a strong undercurtrent of envy at pool party. GREAT couple, Great people, Great YARD AND FOOD and nothing like that would have happened on E 75th st or at Victoria's , or on a folding chair on the block in Sunnyside. I miss Victoria Coral Dylan Diane Matt D;-) I love Second Avenue and all but hey we can park at the end of the driveway round HEEE-UH

I want a FOOD CARD.
God damnit

EAting disorder please ahve a heart and AWAKEN from your slumber. We cant have Rebecca eating