Wednesday

ho ho ho and a

Recently I noticed Dad becoming increasingly unpleasant to be around. It reminded me of before, and I attributed this to the diabetes. I sometimes bring him something to eat at night, and he also was hard to wake up on the couch. Chelsea the old wog was having accidents. She is having a harder time getting around, and I feared the worst. But, it turns out she was not getting let out. In fact he was leaving her in the truck for his lunches at CC Tomatoes. I asked him if he takes her out to pee at all before he retruns home and he said sometimes. I know he will not let her out alone if I am not home as she was a runner. She has miraculously survived being hit by the cars the fly down the road in the am here at 70 mph. I am the crazy lady who has been seen in nothing but a blanket at 5:30 in the am stoppping traffic as she saunters across the field and road and back to the driveway. She is nearly deaf and blind so I have to be the crossing guard. She is skilled at disappearing the second I am not watching and fill up my coffee. I let out both dogs when I get home now and Dad thanks me. But he also oin Easter was just horrible. FOOD is always delicious, and I had not cleaned his house yet. The last Weekend after I started I had an asthma attack which is rare for me. After wiping visible mold off off the walls, and nearly breakign my vacuum with one square foot of dog hair I had enough. I brought my mop bucket and other supplies over and he stomped , gave me an inquisition. I said FINE ok Vacuum and eat period. I will finish the rest another time. He does not believe that there is MOLD, or that it is toxic, or that I am affected by it. I am resigned to spray lysol on my ceilings. SO as I plug in the vacuum he says " HMMMm mmmm this Chiraz is just excellent!" I replied," WOW that lasted since Thanksgiv-" He SCREAMS" I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! You say that in such an accusatory way Rebecca."I was unprepared as after 3 years I had finally aftter 35 years dropped my permanent guard and need for intense meditation before interacting with him as one needs to prepare for being terrorized. I said, " Actually Dad, I meant that as a compl-"Oh NOOO you DIDN"T!!!! " and we are back to the ogre of ole. I jsut vacuumed and was dterminedto make my point. WHY? Because I was not 'spiritually fit' I was not thinking about not going othe argument because I needed to prove there was NO argument here. I explained DAD,  I did not call you and ALC+O -HAAAUUULLL-IC I observed oen bottle of wine lasted for months. For a man who had a gallon of vodka goin daily for 50+ years and   self medicated with ( OOPS! there I GO!) pot 24-7 I thnk it IS most certianly I compliment that one bottle of wine lasted months. PERIOD.  " OH would you just SHUT UUUPPPPP"  and thent he lamb was ready.
This is mild in compariosn the when he would be drunk and pound on my doors and windows demanding money for rent  when I was a wekk behind I mean I could say DAD I get paid next Friday adn be subjected to horrendous behavior. This just had nothappened for so long.Since the hospital he had not brought booze in I spent a week cleaning that house of horror, before and after work and sitting there with him. This was overlooked and NEVER discussed when I brought him home. He simply had changed and instead of discussing the 'disease concept' we had enjoyed the last 3 years here together. Thank you Hitchens and Dawkins for making him laugh wiht reading material on my shelves.  I mean almost, not quite in a cooperative and harmonious manner.  Only once was he sad one am abouthis hands and his incapacity. I said thanks to your good Dr your mind is intact ( I am generous to a fault) Dad, and you can HEAR, so crank up your music and appreciate it wihtout dismissing your musicianship altogether as if it never existed. And I got him going on the NY Times crossword which I am terrible  at,  now he brings them to the restaurant where one of my oldest friends  helps him out owning the place with her husband.  I am thankful when  anyone is nice to him, but only if it is sincere. The spirit in him slowly was making a comeback.  But lately he has become paranoid and mean again. Well Sunday while I was organizing all the crap in the breesway he keeps hundreds of paper bags from the grocery store, I saw it. Under the other glass recyclying material.

A pint? WTF? Of Captain Morgan RUM. He never drank that. O M G
And I took a long, deep inhalation. He never HID it before.  WOW that lasted ... joke... I will not comment it is none of my business. And thisi what we DO.  I know.
The debate of late is whether swelling in his LEGS is related to diabetes, and pizza eating. The first time I have been AFRAID was last Saturday night. His leg was HUGE and all the way up to his thigh. I suggested TEDS, way back, and dsue to medicare and part a.b c D Q confusion they will cost 89 bucks so of ocurse we cannot get them. I found a link thorugh my benefits to drugstore dot com and I could when I get paid, order them  for 24.99.  Now he does not want them. Too much $. sigh
I rememeber fighting with Alzheimer's residents to get these damn hose on. But they are helpful for edema His Dr asked if I had any hose, that they would do just fine. I  am freaked out,  trying not to look it, pulling the knee stich apart as hard as I could on my best TJMAXX work hose. I got it up the leg! And it promptly rolled down to this ankle.
He  just said  ( now across from me that he aced last weeks crossword. HOW?  WIll SHortz' definition of CLUE is far from mine.
What is south of South America and 'SUR'?  = Now I head over the the first blog that I ever followed.  This is where the hlep will be for the  Tuesday April 13th crossword puzzle, ( Science Times andthe  Crossword are a bargain in the same paper), but Rex Parker is a god.
NEW PAGE NOW And before Dad figures out I am talking about him .

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