Friday

NO ONE likes me today!

My best friend in recovery said I am not nice and not to call her or text her anymore.

This happens on occassion when a sponsee has died and my own heart is broken I am not buying anymore BS about secret physical PAIN and suffering...

My sinuses are clogged and I am in slow motion....

It is snowing..again... and tomorrow another foot is expected.

I turned on the am tv only because I was driving to babysit and curious if the roads would be impassible like last Tuesday am when I was supposed to watch Haleigh..
A GMA story sensationalizing addicted/alcoholic mothers who premeditatively murder their offspring. A blackened face from Alanon was interviewed to confirm that the father had reached out for support. And, as a footnote the commenting forensic P doc indicates there MAY be underlying mental health 'issues'. What a journalistic disgrace!


Then on with the day.... start the car, 4 degrees out and a crappy cup of coffee. HTe kind that just does not get you moving...

Observe my sullen looking canine who cannot get over the fact that there are now 2 kittens at the apt, she can not not come with me to watch the toddler. The kittens are challenged enough with her dunking them in the potty and permanently warping their tails...

Though discouraged by seemingly insurmountable circumstances I am certain that this love of a toddler or any kids in my life are blessings I am grateful for that make me appreciate my sobriety. Though, it is one of those days that I would trade it or give it any mother that just cannot face the uncomfortable ness of detoxing and changing...
I was trying to impart a sense of confidence by using positive, encouraging words. This praise would help her really really be done with pooping IN her pants...

Also, big girls are responsible for their actions in the rest of their environment. I announced "There will be no more sneaking off to the corner behind the bed to POOP in our PANTS."

I regret to maintain that there will be NO MORE kitten bending, twisting, tail pulling, or hurling at the wall either...
As predicted, I was yelling before I knew it..I had raised my voice. ( GUILT. Shame... inflicted trauma...) I plowed through that bravely and applied,a (albeit brief) time out. Hey, I have watched Nanny Jo Jo! I explained why, and confirmed that she understood exactly why she was in a time out for the duration of 2 minutes.

I mentioned a life skill called thinking thorugh to the consequences. See, the kitten would soon be in for vaccinations and meow meow tattle on her to the Vet... Where the KPS would intervene if the vertebrae were permanently warped.(jk)

" NOfor *&^ sak get some BALLS! , I thought to myself.

And after about what seemed like an eternity she had this FACE.....
A face that was shocked and little glassy moist eyes just looking at me....the betrayal!

She then said, " I no love you Becca" "Mommaaaa... no Becca......... go to work!" If she had been using the word 'like', it would have been understandable.

It's bad when my friends are pissed at me but when that little precious FACE turned..
Do you know the FACE I speak about? It was ALL LOVE since April 1st 20008...

I am going to shovel now and post a picture of my first mitten that actually looks like a mitten.....


I found a pattern that made sense and gave up winging it...
I am knitting with a discontinued multicolor Noro Silk/wool.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for writing that. I needed to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks Anna:-)The mitten looks like it's for Sponge Bob....

    ReplyDelete