Silk and wool scraps and luminesce watercolor background
I'm unable to drive as I need a new windshield for car inspection...
This is so much fun and on it's way to a friend in Virginia in the mail now. My computer has at last been repaired, though without the cell phone I am back to asking my father to give me a ride to the town library to log on and do my job search. As you can see I am working diligently at it. It beats looking at my moping dog who does not understand WHY I am not driving us to the river...
Thank god for this unfortuante newcomer's choice in friends and the 13th step or I may not have met this amazing woman. She is trying with complete authenticity and shook it off after being exposed. THis friend ( of mine ashamedly) announced in so many words at a local treatment center that he had ' fallen from grace' . He shared from the podium this after having her in tow from GO, day 1 from her hospital release, and basically he got texted from his girlfriend and decided to go back and dump HER in the name of practicing the priniciples in all our affirs... CAn you hear me puking all over the keys? I refuse to discuss it anymore, it is the past and a tough lesson for under 60 days sober but it IS one more woman in the halls that can say she is NO VICTIM. I warned her that he did love somoene else despite their apparent break up. HOWEVER, we, myself included, WILL do what ever the hell we want to anyway, lip service the steps while we act out in our defects or active addictions, until we love oursleves enough to GET HONEST, grow or GO, and heal and deal. I could not have met a more sincere, considerate, willing, and kind woman regarding their recovery. than all of my long term sobreity "FAMILY" ... It has been illuminating to see the absence of reciprocity in my chosen friendships after the last 5 years... I ALWAYS ALWAYS saw the good in people... I refused to acknowledge that when my debit card was empty so was my calendar, unless babysitting was needed. No more. I am often lonely without the car and phone ( computer etc) isolation is not happening because sober women are there for me I can get to mtgs.... but my relationships today are based in an affinity that is void of motives and anything but love. Need is need. I am not ashamed of it nor proud when I am NOT living in fears based in it. It is ok because I am ok INSIDE. I am at times happy my circumstances are as such so I may observe where I invested my self and carefully consider such investments in the future ODAAT based takers I have honored here ( NH F's>O>B) NOT referring to any one in NY or MA and you know it!)
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