White paint

The soot is off of the walls at long last. The ceiling hole is fixed and the water damage is at bay along with the mold. I scraped cedar because some dipshit painted it. Halfway thorugh I relaized I had to pray to the yard sale gods for a titanium scraper. I found 2! The front is almost complete. I have refurbished tow peices of real wood furniture. Curbside/tresure house to replace a more bulky phone table. Being that I no longer HAVE a phone I need a bedside peice for my ice cream and ashtray... I mean my book... I LOVE Benjamin Moore green primer. I HATE being 5 foot 2. Irepainted my Dad's kitchen with an oops AURA called Puppy Paws, it LOOKED near white and is near BEIGE> Oh well he does not care or even notice. The wood cook stove also was nearly finished and I found another half used tube of Rutland Stove Polish at the flea market a m,ill town flea type of store. I removed a thick and not veryu wide board from the Dad side and sanded it. SO far stell wool, the finest, and kwik Stripper SUCK. The 5F5 is better but I had hoped it would be saved for the little toddler desk I also found free. So far THAT is proving to be a bitch. Like a first grader stabbed their penciol in the wood every day for 40 years. I tried gooing it up with MinWax Cherry stain, Danish oil, etc but I am going to have to wait until I have more than 1.95 in my account and get some wax. Filler. Whatever it is... The simple task of building a second shelf has proven to be merciless. I SUCK at this but I DO have a vision. If I was NOT uinemployed and my phone was on I might bew able to sahre a pic but alas, just picture it.. I have a very small 'window' of opportunity where I see a cushion seat a window and built ins around. this is for the darkest area of my tiny apt... I found a perfect window at a garage sale and hopefully it is a0 still there and b) still 10o bucks. Now for the shower, heating system, and stove problem. I have pruned Juniper bushes, merciless bittersweet and slicing pricker bushes growing every which way to the point where my hands are BOTH blistered and I am sweating profusiously cursing ALL of the bugs that stick to me despite many layers and CHIGG away and 100 % DEET oil. I am a toxic mess... and now filing for the extension to the unemployment.. I have four bald tires, one of which deflates nightly. My computer haqs a virus and my "man" upon being confronted on his assholeness said, at a MEETING if he was not sober he would put a BULLET in my HEAD and bury me out back. HMM of the UU church I grew up in??? I left. My brother in law who is no longer even married to my sister helped me fix the barn door. He also gutted out the rotting toilet and floor for my father last winter. He is coming back soon to maybe help me address the burst copper pipes in the cement foundation... As well ( crossing my fingers) as some 4 NEW roof leaks that threatened my Cherry Danish oil stained night stand and my in progress shelves. So.. That is me, up a tree and full of inspiration and lyme disease. Also I sanded down the carpenter's cherry cabinets made oh 30 years ago and layered danish oil on them and quelle difference! It kind of smells though... But looks MUCH better, Again my Dad's kitchen. I still have no propane system or stove or shower but whatever. I am considering pulling a teenage move and calling the phone company and ordering a phone adn inet for my apt. Since his name is like a woman's. No I am jsut joking... But this library is closing and I msut get home to my last supper. For REAL no more food... Paid bills and now a week or more delay for the extension. Dad came over and helkped himself to bread though tonight. And I do'nt ever ever mind I just mwish one person would say or come over and say WOW good JOB this place looks habitable again. Thank you daughter for giving a shit .... Actually bro in law did and my nbeighbor did who inflates my tire adn he GREW up in the place so THAT meant everything to me. Picture approx 3 acres of pruning piles and not ONE man in my life can drag a twig to a brush pile. NOt the one that USED to be my 'partner' not the one that gets two stories of barn storage free till eternity, not anyone? Seriously! I re-evaluated the maid and nanny services I provided for ALL of my friends and fellow 12 steppers over the last say 7 years and am truly amazed that before I was halfway through not one person gave a crap if I had food or gas or turned 15 yrs and 40... I am devoted to enriching my spiritual life but this is not at the beck and call of my codependcy any more. And NO one likes it. So tough shit. I am home alone but not ever alone. I am writing LETTERS and searching for addresses as my cell phone stored all of the post facebook friends contact details... I think about the dearest of women friends I have and thank God for them but I wish they KNEW I cared adn did not think I didn't when I am unable to CALL.