Sunday

Manos of Urguay Wool Hat at last!

Thrilled.......It actually fits a human head....this is amajor life event. I have another one finished here that came out like a roll brim hat on Size 8 double pointed needles. My sister is home again.I got her a fruit cake to celebrate her 40th birthday last night. Luckily she appreciates my dry humor. We met a lovely family in visiting hours who's mom spoke fluent Italian and Dad spoke fluent CRAZY and had 30 years of sobriety. It was wonderful. She has agreed to me monitoringher meds so it makes for along day. IF she fails to comply and becomes symptomatic then she will be court ordered to injectionalble long acting admistration with a petition for my guardianship via the Dr. This is the last thing that I want her to experience and the nothing I am interested in doing at all. Her recent epeisode was so severe that I drove her straight to the ER and she pulled the E brake and leapt out of the car demanding protection from her cohorts inte FBI and CIA. To see her tlaking to 428 people at once was horrifying, plus hse had disturbing beliefs about waht lies behind the ground cover out back. I remain convinced this is what our Mom had or scitrzo-affective disorder but the NH Hospital is staying with her current diagnosis of biploar... a fad diagnosis, when she is in the exact same condition as the other scitzophrenics on the unit. At least we managed to have food stamp benefits after 11 months and a disabilty case worker who communicates and calls me. At least some of her dignity is restored that is until my father goes over and pulls the electric heater cord. A pipe burst and now the same exact lfood is happening that I spent a summer repairing the damage from. She just threw a sweatshirt over the puddle last night and returned to watching tv and decided to stay in. I was relieved and tired and did not want to be out for another 3 hours. Although I love my tiem with Dad, especially liek last night when we have public radio on and I am further educated about most any piece of music playing I was BEAT. I am looking forward to seeing her after work and hopefully visiting either her son or the Carey kids. I miss them a lot. I am increasingly sick of the perma sneeze at work. I realize this is part of working in a treatment center but I am much dismayed about the change in my role and not at all interested in becoming a counselor. I miss my LIFE, I lack privacy even in my own recovery now after everythign else that made me independently me has changed this year. If my boyfriend continues to be a grouchasaurus wreck every morning I may insist on returnign to my apt. I am missing the life I had fir the last 10 years and my dog so much. I miss living alone and I know that sharing my place with her would be challenging to say the least. I just drive so much right now after work to meetings back home to drop her off, all of her and my father's errand running and when I get home I just want to sleep. My friend took me to see Dave MAtthews for helping her move and then I gto to see my nephew and neice and that was most fun I have had in years. I miss my dog and my exercise routine. I just cannot even walkt here without here so instead I have compensated for it with an increase in smoking and junk food.

1 comment:

  1. I like your post very much i had nice time while reading your post

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